**This post is dedicated to and written by one of the other victims. I told her I would be happy to include her story on this site. We grew up together, went to school together, we were in Missionettes together. For years, I didn’t know she was victimized by this man. We found each other again in 2022 when another huge story broke about Capital Christian Center. I reshared my original blog and a mutual friend had sent her my post, and she immediately knew who it was. She reached out to me and confirmed our person was the same. Since then, we have spoken many times and encouraged each other. She bravely shared her story publicly on October 27th, 2023.

Proud of you Daniella!! Praying always for continued healing…

Not My Shame: By Daniella Ruffin

I’ve started writing this SO many times. I’ve wondered how much information is too much? How many details do I need to share for people to believe me? After 25 years I realize I don’t need anyone to “believe” me. I know what happened and he knows what he did to me 25 years ago.

May 2022 I learned I wasn’t the only victim, now I know there are at least 2 others. That day is a day I’ll never forget! It’s been 25 years and although they say time heals all wounds…I’ve learned first-hand, that isn’t true. Feelings get buried for a little while and
then something happens to bring them all to the surface again. Learning about the level of betrayal has been especially hard to deal with. It’s a level of betrayal that I couldn’t have imagined.

In 1998, I was 17 and 8 months pregnant. I was living with my best friend, after being kicked out for being pregnant. My best friend and her family were a great support for me when my own family wasn’t. Her mom was my high school Bible teacher. They gave me a place to live and took me back and forth to work. My best friend was going to be with me through the delivery of my son. For the first time, in a long time, I felt like I belonged.

But in a few minutes, everything changed. In the summer of 1998, my best friend’s dad sexually violated me. When I told my best friend about what he did, she and her family turned on me. That was the night I was kicked out of their home.

I felt so alone and scared. I had no friends and family to lean on, nowhere to go, and the fear of having a baby alone at age 17 is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Yes, I had sinned…I was pregnant at 17, I had premarital sex. That was also one of the reasons I stayed quiet for so long. Who would believe me? BUT that is probably what he was hoping for and why he felt so comfortable violating me.

In 2004 I confided in my husband, who is the child of a pastor. He recommended that I report it. He believed the church would do the right thing because that was his experience. So, I filed a police report and reported what had happened to the church/school. The same church/school that I attended my entire life. The same church/school that my best friend’s dad was still involved with. If nothing else, I wanted to make sure he couldn’t do the same thing to anyone else.

I met with someone at the church/school who, because he was one of my coaches in high school, I thought for sure he would support me. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen that way. I was promised counseling, which I never received. Based on what I know now, they already knew about victim #3 and probably hoped I would just go away, which I did. My assailant’s wife was still a teacher there, and continued on as a teacher even after I reported it.

Around this time, I tried reaching out to my old best friend to see if she felt different about the situation because I knew in my heart I couldn’t be the only victim. She, not so nicely, told me to never contact her again. At this point I didn’t know she already knew
about victim #3. He did the same thing to her about 6 months after me. His wife and daughters were well aware about what he did to us.

It is not my place to disclose who victim #3 is. When, and if, she is ready to speak out, she will. For the sake of this posting, I am victim #2 and she is victim #3. That’s because we also confirmed there is another victim prior to either of us. I’m not sure if my
assailant’s family also knew about her, but they for sure knew about me and victim #3. They did nothing to ensure the safety of other young girls, as he continued in a leadership role at the church/school for many years, roles that involved activities that
gave him access to children, including a well-known annual Christmas program.

For so many years I didn’t want to name my assailant publicly because I didn’t want to hurt his family. BUT now I know they knew it was true and hid what he had done and continued to do. Well, no more. Today I name him and the mega church/school that did nothing to stop it.

The statute of limitations is up, and he doesn’t have any money, so there is absolutely nothing for me to gain; EXCEPT, I no longer have to carry his shame. Him, his family, and the church/school all bear responsibility in the hurt he has caused. There is no way there are only 3 of us, I am confident in that!

To the adults at the church/school that I reported it to, I retained our email communications so please don’t pretend like you thought you didn’t need to do anything because the police were handling it.

Learning that his family and the church/school knew about at least one other victim and still did nothing, not even an apology, is a level of betrayal that I could never have imagined. For so many years I felt bad for the family…little did I know, they knew it was true! In some ways, the betrayal I learned of last year hurt more than what he did to me.

If you are one of his victims, feel free to reach out. This man has a type and does similar things to his victims.

So, here it goes…in the summer of 1998 when I was 17 years old and approximately 8 months pregnant, Michael Gunter sexually assaulted me. His family and Capital Christian knew about it and did nothing to protect other young girls. Now I lay the
shame with him, his family, and Capital Christian, because that is where it belongs. I did nothing wrong and will no longer carry it in silence.

It’s very telling that Capital Christian has now been taken over by Destiny Church, due to, at a minimum, several lawsuits related to sexual abuse allegations that were covered up.

If you don’t agree with me naming him and the mega church, your entitled to your opinion, but please keep it to yourself. I pray you never have to deal with what I have
endured for the last 25 years.

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