***Important: If you are new to this page, please know this website contains blogs with my story of sexual assault in the church. If you would like to know more about my personal story, and why I am writing this, please visit the original blog titled “No Longer Silent”.

Today I’m releasing the next part of that journey, a series of letters reflecting on how the Church responds when abuse happens within it’s walls.

It feels especially meaningful to share these on International Women’s Day, a day that honors the voices, dignity and strength of women around the world. Too often, women who speak about abuse carry the additional burden of being dismissed, silenced or misunderstood. My hope is that by sharing these reflections, we can continue creating spaces where truth is heard and the vulnerable are protected.

These posts are not written out of bitterness or a desire to condemn. They come from a hope that the Church can continue growing into what God calls it to be, a place where the least of these are seen, believed and cared for.

I pray that these posts invite honest conversation and a deeper understanding.

Dear Church Leaders Everywhere,

I want to write to you about an extremely difficult topic, one that most will never want to face, discuss, or deal with in ministry. I ask you to keep reading with an open heart.

When you answered the call to shepherd God’s people, you likely didn’t anticipate all the nuances and burdens that would come with it, the long days, hard meetings, mundane tasks, and the challenges of leading imperfect people. But like a true shepherd, one of your most sacred responsibilities is the protection and safety of your flock.

Imagine, for a moment, a flock of sheep in a pasture. You are their protector.

If a wolf comes in sheep’s clothing, do you let it remain after it’s already attacked one of your sheep? Do you tell the flock the wolf has an important role and must be allowed to stay? Do you instruct the injured sheep to “turn the other cheek”? Do you hide the wolf’s presence to avoid unrest? And when one of your sheep lies bleeding, do you leave it behind because you have others to tend to? Are they expendable?

You cannot protect your flock if you refuse to confront the wolves.

Scripture speaks to this again and again. I encourage you to read Ezekiel 34.

We have seen the devastation of failed protection play out publicly, in countless scandals both inside and outside the Church. And almost every time, the story includes some form of cover-up or silence by those in power. What once seemed like a problem “out there” in the world, in Hollywood, the music industry, or government, is now heartbreakingly common within the Church across many denominations.

Since the height of the #MeToo movement, the #ChurchToo movement has emerged as a painful reminder that abuse, silencing, and cover-ups are not confined to the secular world. The Church, called to be a light in the darkness, has too often mirrored that darkness, protecting image over innocence, power over people.

Recent years have brought exposure after exposure: Ravi Zacharias, Robert Morris, Mike Bickle, leaders within the SBC, Todd Bentley, the Daystar Network scandal, and most recently, the NBC investigation into the Assemblies of God. These are only well-known cases. Countless others never make the news, including mine.

What’s striking is that there’s rarely ever just one victim. There are usually many, which means people around the perpetrators likely knew something and did nothing. It’s like knowing a family member is driving drunk but choosing not to stop them. In ministry, silence becomes complicity.

Every time a new scandal breaks, the same dynamic emerges:

Category 1: The Truth-Tellers.

Those who speak out against abuse and for victims. They’re often labeled “divisive,” “difficult,” or “gossipers.” They ask hard questions, push for investigations, and advocate for accountability.

Category 2: The Loyalists.

Those who defend the accused (or the ones protecting the accused) often citing concern for the churches or even God’s reputation. They fear the damage truth might do to “the witness of Christ,” but in protecting image, they abandon integrity.

Category 3: The Bystanders.

Those who sense something is wrong but stay quiet. They don’t want conflict. They offer sympathy, maybe even quiet support, but rarely action.

Years ago, I saw a plaque at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., dedicated to the bystanders, those who knew what was happening but did nothing. That moment marked me. Silence, even when well-intentioned, allows harm to continue.

Sometimes, when people do try to intervene, they’re told to “stand down” so as not to “sow discord” or “gossip.” I’ve seen this play out firsthand. I sat in a courtroom as friends of mine who spoke out for victims were sued by a prominent church figure who had shielded known abusers. The truth finally came out through discovery, but only after deep harm was done. The church district had known and done little to nothing. Everyone “won” legally, but spiritually and morally, we all lost.

Between my own story and witnessing others unfold, I’ve seen what happens when leaders turn away from those who cry out for truth. It has shaken my faith to its core.

Brené Brown wrote in Braving the Wilderness about the Penn State scandal:

“When you love a place like Penn State, you fight to make it better. You don’t pretend everything is okay. That’s not loyalty or love, it’s fear.”

She also wrote:

“When the culture of an organization mandates that protecting the reputation of those in power is more important than protecting human dignity, you can be certain that shame is systemic, money drives ethics, and accountability is dead.”

If you need an example of this, we don’t need to look any further than the current global crisis with the Epstein Files. It’s playing out in front of our faces. Powerful men and women are seemingly getting away with horrific acts towards innocent children.

If we are called to love one another, then love must look like truth, courage, and protection. If we are called to be a light to the world, we must handle these matters better than the world.

For me, staying in the Church has required the grace of God and every ounce of faith I have left. I’ve seen too much that could have destroyed me. Yet God, in His kindness, placed safe, trustworthy people in my life before I began to unpack it all. Their love has been an extension of His healing. I am also blessed to now be part of a church led by shepherds of integrity. I know there are many others out there too.

I’m not asking you to stand on a stage and condemn fallen leaders.

I’m asking you to protect your flock, truly and tangibly.

Please:

• Don’t be afraid to speak about abuse when it arises.

• Show your congregation that their safety matters more than reputation.

• Put policies and safeguards in place. Actions > Words.

• Be a safe, trauma-informed space for survivors.

• Confront wrongdoing, even when it’s uncomfortable. Follow Matthew 18. Remove those who are unsafe from positions of leadership.

• Don’t scatter your flock. Don’t abandon the wounded sheep. (Ezekiel 34)

I pray you can hear my heart. I love the Church, not the institution, but the heart of what God intended it to be. That’s why I’m fighting for it.

It breaks my heart to hear so many say they’ve walked away from God because of how His people handled their pain. It’s hard to reconcile the Jesus I know with what I’ve seen from His Church. But Jesus, not the system, is why I’m still here.

Thank you for reading this. If you are a pastor, shepherd, or church leader and feel uncertain about how to respond, please seek guidance. Learn what you are both legally and morally responsible for.

I pray the Lord gives you courage to confront the wolves among your flock, and the compassion to care for the wounded ones they’ve left behind.

With sincerity and hope,

One of the Sheep

***I pray you will continue onto the next letter as I share some helpful insights into trauma informed ways to engage with survivors. Please continue to the blog titled “Grief Needs a Witness”